Survival: Zombie

If you are alive:

  • Use a helmet. Zombie don’t generally eat helmets, they prefer fresh flesh. If you failed to find one, use a dip-bucked or a garbage can. A chamber-pot may save you life as well. As a last resort use a vase or a flowerpot. Beware of doorways!
  • Get a weapon. The best choice is a shotgun or another powerful weapon which can tear a head off from a place of safety. Do not use pistols — zombies are brainless and don’t feel pain. Flame-thrower may be dangerous for you since a flaming zombie get closer to you — you may become a barbecue. If you can’t get any gun, get knives — and rop them to a stick — you’ll be able to cut throats from a distance. Also you may use a towel — fix it at a top of a mop, pour it with oil and fire it — you’ll have a torch. Burn their eyes. Do not try to eliminate all of them — unless you are sure you can do it. And resists the temptation to bite a zombie to view the result. The result is predicted — you’ll vomit.
  • Use a big car to leave the city. Do not broke the driver’s side window — use a passenger one by your side. You’ll be able to fire and nobody will catch you by your helmet. Do not broke any back windows. You’ll take a cold.
  • Take some food. Tins is a good choice since you do not know how long you’ll be isolated. Take some lighters and water. Give up smoking. Take some alcohol — it might become a new currency and a ticket to someone’s house. Do not drink. Drunk driving is prohibited.
  • Take binoculars, if you know where it can be found, compass — even if you have no idea how to use it, many survivals would be happy to join a person with a compass. You will look like a person who has a plan. The most important thing is a radio — and do not forget about batteries — collect a box of them.
  • If a zombie has bit you don’t panic. Just cut out your arm or leg or something immediately and burn the wound. Ask someone you trust to help you — preferably a doctor. Zombie’s poison is quite fast, so you won’t have enough time to find hospital. If you feel your mind getting worse and you find it hard to concentrate, kill your last zombie — yourself.

If you are a zombie (which is much more possible):

  • Prefer to attack unprotected children and women. Though their brains are smaller, it gives you a chance to survive noticeably longer.
  • Try to keep aside your mates crowd — soldiers like to burn crowds or to bomb them out. Stay in a shadow.
  • People tend to move using short ways. It may be useful to hide in a narrow street and make a trap, for example with a rope. Since people faster than you, be ready to make a hole in their skull with something long and heavy — a batten, for example.
  • Do not wheeze, moo or grunt — they are already afraid of you, but you may let them prevent collision with deadly you. If you have to make sounds, use a towel to make it quiet and to hide your face.
  • You will have a lot of difficulty if you try to get brain of an alive person by biting the skull. You may even lost your teeth. The preferable way is to kill him or her cruelly, and then break the skull by dropping it to asphalt. Wize apes get coir that way.
  • Don’t attack soldiers and generally don’t be seen at a daylight. Visible zombie — dead zombie. Twice.

Good luck!